The Gift of Imperfection Summary

The Gift of Imperfection

Blog Title : The Gift of Imperfection By Brene Brown
Author : Brene Brown
 
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About the Author 

Dr. Brené Brown is a researcher, writer, and professor. She is a member of the research faculty at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, where she has spent the past ten years studying a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness, posing the questions: How do we engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness?

Brené spent the first seven years of her decade-long research journey studying how the universal experiences of shame and fear affect us and how practicing resilience in our everyday lives can change the way we live, love, parent, and work. 

The Gift of Imperfection Summary

Author Says knowledge is important, but only if we’re being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are. Wholeheartedness is as much about embracing our tenderness and vulnerability as it is about developing knowledge and claiming power.
Wholehearted Living
Author says Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.
 
Author Says wholehearted living is not a onetime choice. It is a process. Author believe it’s the journey of a lifetime. Author’s goal is to bring awareness and clarity to the constellation of choices that lead to Wholeheartedness.
 
Author says practicing courage, compassion, and connection in our daily lives is how we cultivate worthiness. The key word is practice.
 
When we’re looking for compassion, we need someone who is deeply rooted, able to bend, and, most of all, we need someone who embraces us for our strengths and struggles.
When we’re looking for compassion, it’s about connecting with the right person at the right time about the right issue.
Courage
Here Author says courage is a huge theme in my life. It seems that either I’m praying for some, feeling grateful for having found a little bit, appreciating it in other people, or studying it.
 
After interviewing people about the truths of their lives—their strengths and struggles—Author realized that courage is one of the most important qualities that Wholehearted people have in common. 
Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver. And our world could stand to be a little kinder and braver.
 
If we want to live fully, without the constant fear of not being enough, we have to own our story. We also have to respond to shame in a way that doesn’t exacerbate our shame.
 
Cultivating Authenticity
Author says authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.
The idea that we can choose authenticity makes most of us feel both hopeful and exhausted. We feel hopeful because being real is something we value.
 
Here Author say there are people who consciously practice being authentic, there are people who don’t, and there are the rest of us who are authentic on some days and not so authentic on other days.
Authenticity isn’t always the safe option. Sometimes choosing being real over being liked is all about playing it unsafe. It means stepping out of our comfort zone.
 
When we choose to be true to ourselves, the people around us will struggle to make sense of how and why we are changing.
 
It’s easy to attack and criticize someone while he or she is risk- taking— voicing an unpopular opinion or sharing a new creation with the world or trying something new that he or she hasn’t quite mastered.
Cultivating Self-Compassion
Here Author says Self-kindness: Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. 
 
Common humanity recognizes that suffering and feelings of personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience—something we all go through rather than something that happens to “me” alone.
 
Author says perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.
 
Taking a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. Mindfulness requires that we not “over-identify” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negativity.
Cultivating  a Resilient Spirit 
We develop a hopeful mind-set when we understand that some worthy endeavors will be difficult and time consuming and not enjoyable at all.
 
Author says Hope also requires us to understand that just because the process of reaching a goal happens to be fun, fast, and easy doesn’t mean that it has less value than a difficult goal. If we want to cultivate hopefulness, we have to be willing to be flexible and demonstrate perseverance.
 
In addition to being essential to resilience, practicing critical awareness is actually one of the four elements of shame resilience.
Intuition
Here Author says Intuition is not independent of any reasoning process. In fact, psychologists believe that intuition is a rapid-fire, unconscious associating process—like a mental puzzle.
Sometimes our intuition or our gut tells us what we need to know; other times it actually steers us toward fact-finding and reasoning.
 
Author says Faith is essential when we decide to live and love with our whole hearts in a world where most of us want assurances before we risk being vulnerable and getting hurt.
 
Intuition is not a single way of knowing—it’s our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith, and reason.
Cultivating Creativity
 The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity.
 
Here Author says If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild an engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing—it doesn’t matter. As long as we’re creating, we’re cultivating meaning.
 
There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t. Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear. It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear.
 
It’s easy to see how difficult it is to make time for the important things such as creativity, gratitude, joy, and authenticity when we’re spending enormous amounts of energy conforming and competing
Calm and Stillness
Author define calm as creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity. If we choose to heal with calm, we have to commit to practicing calm. Small things matter.
 
Here Author says In our increasingly complicated and anxious world, we need more time to do less and be less. When we first start cultivating calm and stillness in our lives, it can be difficult, especially when we realize how stress and anxiety define so much of our daily lives.
 
We all have gifts and talents. When we cultivate those gifts and share them with the world, we create a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.
 
Author says most of us who are searching for spiritual connection spend too much time looking up at the sky and wondering why God lives so far away. God lives within us, not above us. Sharing our gifts and talents with the world is the most powerful source of connection with God.
 
No one can define what’s meaningful for us. Culture doesn’t get to dictate if it’s working outside the home, raising children, lawyering, teaching, or painting. Like our gifts and talents, meaning is unique to each one of us.

The Gift of Imperfection Quotes : – 

Love is the most important thing in our lives, a passion for which we would fight or die, and yet we’re reluctant to linger over its names. Without a supple vocabulary, we can’t even talk or think about it directly. — DIANE ACKERMAN

“If we want to live and love with our whole hearts, and if we want to engage with the world from a place of worthiness, we have to talk about the things that get in the way—especially shame, fear, and vulnerability.”

We are the most obese, medicated, addicted, and in-debt Americans ever.
Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you really need to do, in order to have what you want. — Margaret Young

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. — ANNA QU INDLEN

A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life. — CHRISTOPHER K. GERMER

She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful. — TERRI ST. CLOU D

Buy The Gift of Imperfection on Amazon
Download for Free Audiobook
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Read Book Summaries To Change Your Life

People also ask

What is the short summary of gift of imperfection ?

Author Says wholehearted living is not a onetime choice. It is a process. Author believe it’s the journey of a lifetime. Author’s goal is to bring awareness and clarity to the constellation of choices that lead to Wholeheartedness.

What are the best quotes from the book gift of imperfection ?

. The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. — ANNA QU INDLEN
. A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life. — CHRISTOPHER K. GERMER
. She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful. — TERRI ST. CLOU D

Where I can listen audio of book gift of imperfection ?

You can download the audio of book gift of imperfection on amazon audile. Amazon audible offers free trial for its new customers on audible.

What is the review of gift of imperfection ?

Brene Brown says there are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t. Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear. It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear.