How to win Friends and Influence People
Book : How to win Friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie
Author : Dale Carnegie
 
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 How To Win Friends and Influence People Summary
“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
 
The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals. 
 
If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. That determines your character. 
 
Here Author Says “The greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. 
 
When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves.
 
Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” and people will cherish your words .
 
Here Author Says the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. 
 
The only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants. 
 
“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.” — Henry Ford
 
 
Here Author Says you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. 
 
“First, arouse in the other person an eager want.
 
If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm.
 
It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it. 
 
Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.
 
“There is nothing either good or bad,” said Shakespeare, “but thinking makes it so.” 
 
People are so proud of their names that they strive to perpetuate them at any cost. 
 
The ability to remember names is almost as important in business and social contacts as it is in politics.
 
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
 
There is no mystery about successful business intercourse. . . . Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that.” — Eliot
 
Here Author Says Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. 
 
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
 
“Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.” — Emersion
 
You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. 
 
If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.  
 
“Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,” — Budha
 
Here Author Says , you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry.
 
Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. 
 
When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree. 
 
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. 
 
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself. — Galileo 
 
Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so. — Lord ChesterField
 
One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing. — Socrates
 
You only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and making yourself an unwelcome part of any discussion.”
 
Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”  
 
“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”
 
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
 
“A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.”  — Lincoln
 
“He who treads softly goes far.”
 
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